A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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