Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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