I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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