my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm bleeding and have questions
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
