I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
