Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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