How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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