We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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