just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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