She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
