Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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