Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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