this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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