Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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