i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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