Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize