YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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