You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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