hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
