shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My feet surprised me
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