i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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