Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
