I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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