Sponge bath it is.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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