used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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