Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize