Christians are straight up FREAKS
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
