It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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