giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
