When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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