HIV tests are more positive than that guy
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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