Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
