im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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