it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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