no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
