OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
