you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
