Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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