Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
