bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
