Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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