Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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