her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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