I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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