so explain again why im purple
no
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
