I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
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You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
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I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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