My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
