It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
