chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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