that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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