Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
