Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i think i just lost a toe
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
