I need help removing her.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
