He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
