I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
